I call this post Relationship Mine Sweeper because there are certain red flags you MUST NOT ignore when you start dating someone.
So here are my top ten red flags which I will put on my game board in order to keep away from the bomb. Keep away from heartache... ignore these red flags and you will trod on the bomb... maybe not now...but.... la-di-dah.... you eventually will.
10. PHYSICAL BAGGAGE
This can be in terms of debts, disease or kids. OK... bit unfair red flag because then people who have managed their lives badly in the past or faced with less fortunate circumstances will forever be at a disadvantage.
9. PERPETUAL LATENESS
This is just disrespectful. You shouldn't always have to be kept waiting. If someone constantly keeps you waiting it just shows that you're not that important to him/her and that your time is dispensable.
8. GOING DUTCH
If the man suggests splitting the tab on the first date, it would be a major turn off. What does he gain from saving a few bucks off a date???? I don't have expensive taste and I'm unlikely to drive him to the poor house.
If he accepts my offer of splitting the tab, it signals to me that he does not intend to have a second date. Which is fine because when I offer to split the tab, it usually means that I don't intend to carry on and possibly pay for the second date. So I like to split it and therefore I don't feel indebted.
7. MOTHER WORSHIPER
Yes, having respect for women and mothers is a virtue. But when it becomes obsessive, mother-worship is relationship death. No girl wants to be compared to a man's mother. Mummy's Boys are not attractive past the age of five.
6. DIRTY UNDERWEAR OR SOCKS
Please... if we're only dating, then I don't know you well enough to be able to see you in ugly or old underwear and still be attracted to you. When we're a couple, old and unattractive underwear is actually tolerable (from experience) .... but poor hygiene is a no-no.
5. ADDICTIONS
Gambling? Smoking? Drinking? Drugs? How bad exactly is his addiction to something? but generally if he cannot control himself and does not have the will power, then I'd bolt.
4. ROVING EYES
This is just something I cannot tolerate. I've already blogged about it before. THE ROVING MALE EYE
3. RELIGION
I'm Catholic. I may not be a good one, but the way I see it... if I cannot fully practice a religion I was born and raised with, then don't expect me to pick up another religion or belief.
2. DIFFERENT IDEALS
Where do you want to be in 5 years... 10 years...? How important is marriage? Kids? Fidelity?Work? Money?
1. BAD SEX
I want a happy monogamous relationship and marriage. So i will not put up with bad sex. Sex is an important part of a relationship. This will be for the rest of my LIFE you know... I don't think it's shallow of me to reject someone because the sex is bad and not improving.
I've finally realized that no matter how gorgeous and alluring the new stranger is, you have to quit when a red flag goes up. If you want to find the right person in life, you have to know not just what you want, but also what you don't want. Because, even though a person may have many qualities which you want in a partner, if they also possess qualities you don't want, be reminded that although you will be temporarily blinded and not see them, they will surface eventually. They don't disappear, the good and bad points do not cancel each other out.
So single men and women out there, I encourage you to play the relationship mine sweeper. You will be on track to finding the right one. But first... do you know what your red flags are?
So here are my top ten red flags which I will put on my game board in order to keep away from the bomb. Keep away from heartache... ignore these red flags and you will trod on the bomb... maybe not now...but.... la-di-dah.... you eventually will.
10. PHYSICAL BAGGAGE
This can be in terms of debts, disease or kids. OK... bit unfair red flag because then people who have managed their lives badly in the past or faced with less fortunate circumstances will forever be at a disadvantage.
9. PERPETUAL LATENESS
This is just disrespectful. You shouldn't always have to be kept waiting. If someone constantly keeps you waiting it just shows that you're not that important to him/her and that your time is dispensable.
8. GOING DUTCH
If the man suggests splitting the tab on the first date, it would be a major turn off. What does he gain from saving a few bucks off a date???? I don't have expensive taste and I'm unlikely to drive him to the poor house.
If he accepts my offer of splitting the tab, it signals to me that he does not intend to have a second date. Which is fine because when I offer to split the tab, it usually means that I don't intend to carry on and possibly pay for the second date. So I like to split it and therefore I don't feel indebted.
7. MOTHER WORSHIPER
Yes, having respect for women and mothers is a virtue. But when it becomes obsessive, mother-worship is relationship death. No girl wants to be compared to a man's mother. Mummy's Boys are not attractive past the age of five.
6. DIRTY UNDERWEAR OR SOCKS
Please... if we're only dating, then I don't know you well enough to be able to see you in ugly or old underwear and still be attracted to you. When we're a couple, old and unattractive underwear is actually tolerable (from experience) .... but poor hygiene is a no-no.
5. ADDICTIONS
Gambling? Smoking? Drinking? Drugs? How bad exactly is his addiction to something? but generally if he cannot control himself and does not have the will power, then I'd bolt.
4. ROVING EYES
This is just something I cannot tolerate. I've already blogged about it before. THE ROVING MALE EYE
3. RELIGION
I'm Catholic. I may not be a good one, but the way I see it... if I cannot fully practice a religion I was born and raised with, then don't expect me to pick up another religion or belief.
2. DIFFERENT IDEALS
Where do you want to be in 5 years... 10 years...? How important is marriage? Kids? Fidelity?Work? Money?
1. BAD SEX
I want a happy monogamous relationship and marriage. So i will not put up with bad sex. Sex is an important part of a relationship. This will be for the rest of my LIFE you know... I don't think it's shallow of me to reject someone because the sex is bad and not improving.
I've finally realized that no matter how gorgeous and alluring the new stranger is, you have to quit when a red flag goes up. If you want to find the right person in life, you have to know not just what you want, but also what you don't want. Because, even though a person may have many qualities which you want in a partner, if they also possess qualities you don't want, be reminded that although you will be temporarily blinded and not see them, they will surface eventually. They don't disappear, the good and bad points do not cancel each other out.
So single men and women out there, I encourage you to play the relationship mine sweeper. You will be on track to finding the right one. But first... do you know what your red flags are?
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