NOT "Just Friends"

I have friends who are happily attached and are cheating on their partners. And things are going fine with their partners. They love each other very much, have long term plans for the relationship. Yet my friends secretly cheat and don't feel bad about it.



Many have said that they will stop cheating after they get married. And I know ONE person who actually got married, cheated on his wife-to-be on his bachelor night out, claimed it was the last big bang. One week later, he was sleeping around again, unabashed and unapologetic.



Personally, I think that if you cheat, then that's the kind of person you are. You're not going to change for anyone or anything, so.. it's bad enough you're cheating on him/her, don't cheat yourself by telling yourself otherwise.



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I've been thinking... if you're stupid enough to give him/her a second chance... you're going to be a wreck... the problem, the hurt, the memories and most of all... THE FEAR.. will always keep surfacing, for the rest of your life.



I'm quite the Nazi when it comes to questioning people on their motivations and intentions... because my mind is like that.. I MUST KNOW what was going on in a persons head.



So if you do decide to give him/her a second chance, here are some questions I feel you MUST ask him/her honestly. ( Or if you're the Cheater in your relationship.. then ask yourself these questions)



1. Why did you start getting involved?

It never JUST HAPPENED. There has to be something that your partner said to himself which gave him permission to get involved with someone. Did he consider the consequences of getting involved or only of getting caught???



2. Did you feel guilty?

Asking about guilt reveals the values of your unfaithful partner. Many self-centered people never feel any guilt about getting involved. People who anticipate guilty feelings before they act are more inclined to avoid dangerous situations.



3. Did you think about me at all?

Honestly, if he were really thinking about you in the first place, all this would never have happened. But just ask this question to get him thinking (and see him squirming for a "correct" answer).



4. What did you share about me?

It's important to know how you were portrayed to the other person. Did he attempt to deceive the other person by making you look bad, and thus receiving pity and compassion from the other person?

Did he tell the other person good things about your relationship? Or nothing at all?



5. Did you have unprotected sex?
For obvious safety reasons, make sure he gets all the checks. I think that awaiting all the blood test results will really set him thinking -- "Shit! What have I done?!" Cos it directly affects him... his health. Hopefully, he would have caught something and his dick will rot.



6. What did you see in the other person?

Important question to ask if you really want to give it a shot. Maybe something was lacking... something you could have easily given, but didn't. And if that is still lacking ( be it attention, compassion, flattery, etc) and you know you cannot provide that, trust me, he will cheat again ( unless you chain him to the bed post or something)

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Just a tip, get revenge. Have sex with someone good looking, no strings attached, and then let it go. See what it feels like to separate sex from love. You owe it to yourself... it's only fair. Go for it!